ECCW Entrance Song Power Rankings (April 2016)

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The ECCW entrance song power rankings were introduced in February of this year, and with it came equal parts celebration and controversy. Music is subjective, so of course the debates began. Why was a certain song left off the list? Why was one ranked so high? Will Artemis Spencer’s song ever make the top 10??

Now, the answer is based around that word again, “subjective”. The music rankings are based on so many random things that it’s hard to geslt a handle on the system, to be honest. Has a wrestler been making a huge impact recently? Is their song catchy and does it get stuck in your head? When you hear that song out in public does your mind instantly think of the wrestler in question, or instead, that time you went for third base at prom and failed miserably??

So with that in mind, let’s check out the latest rankings!

10. Don Hellion – Malaguena Salerosa

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjmcE4QiBkc

Don Hellion’s transformation from a person lost in the House of Hell, into a man who just wants to love people, has been fantastic.

Gone is the Kane-like mask and outfit, in its place a puffy shirt, some sick tattoos, and a rose for one lucky lady.

Now, you never want to go full mid 90s WWE, where everyone had a day job, and you got swallowed up by gimmicks. I mean, I appreciated Duke the Dumpster Droese as much as the next guy, but sometimes there can be too much of a good thing.

But you also don’t want to go to far the other way, where everyone comes out to their real name, and the only back story to their character is “I want to win matches.”

You need the variety, which is why I am really excited for Don Hellion’s new adventures. What does he want from life? Is he looking for lust or love? Will Lindsay Hart ever accept his request for a date?? So many questions, so little time.

All of this is represented perfectly by his song choice. When you hear it, you immediately start scanning the crowd to see which lady will be the target of his charms. A power Spanish rock ballad? Kick. Ass.

9. Xavier Galaxy – Candy Shop

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZKBa6bvUjo

Xavier Galaxy describes himself as, and I am paraphrasing here, “that gross guy in the club who won’t stop staring at you”.

You have to understand, Xavier Galaxy is quickly growing on me. His absurd entrance, his amazing/terrible sunglasses, his new graffiti jacket, his arrogance, all of it combines to present someone you’ll enjoy watching get beat up. Even if you can’t help but laugh when he screams “Here comes the Milky Way!” as he drops a Bronco Buster right onto Carl Cunningham’s face, and more importantly, Carl’s headband.

So what better way to let people know what they’re in for when you spend a night with Galaxy then with Candy Shop? It sets the perfect tone, really. You can almost taste Galaxy’s sweat in your mouth as 50 Cent dishes out sexual metaphors as he tries bang your ear holes.

8. King Khash – Vatan Parast

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADwT_tWGUTk

King Khash is making a name for himself, not only for his snake noises in the ring, but for the presentation he is bringing as well. From his outfit, to his love of Iran, to his kick ass entrance song, it’s no wonder Khash worked a Smackdown dark match recently.

Khash, who is technically a heel, is essentially in that grey “Rusev” area, where he’s just proud of his country. He hasn’t done anything evil, but the 1980’s trained people to hate anyone in wrestling who was foreign and proud, so there is always that undercurrent of “are we supposed to hate this guy for being a proud Iranian?” behind him.

We shouldn’t of course. We should boo Khash if he does cheap shots, or hits people with cars or what have you. We shouldn’t boo him for wanting to rep his country.

As for the song itself, it has an easy to recognize intro, which prepares you mentally for the 30 minutes of screaming Khash is going to do as he walks to the ring. It’s a Persian rap that is easy to nod your head along to, even if you have zero idea what it’s saying (apparently it has very pro Iranian lyrics, making it once again a great song choice.)

All you know is that once you start listening to it, you want to see some people get punched in the face, which is always a sign of a good entrance song.

7. Alex Plexis – Stompa

https://youtu.be/pGfM2FmfV-4

I’ve gotten to the point where if I’m asked about my “Mt. Rushmore” of ECCW songs, Stompa is firmly in place.

You have to realize, I’m a huge fan of Plexis. I was recently called out by Plexis by labeling him a “mid-card heel” and I just want to clarify something. What I meant was, in the current storylines and power structure, he would be my number one guy to have in the mix as a top mid-card heel. Would I love to see Plexis be ECCW Champ one day? Hells yeah. Do I think he can do it? Damn straight (assuming Kassidy is backing him up).

Now, add in the fact I think he is one of the best natural heat gathering mofos on the roster, and add in a Canadian song like Stompa, and you know what, it just works. I can’t even explain it properly, but Stompa entered my heart during Plexis’ Pac Cup ’15 win, and it’s never going to leave. Seriously, go watch Plexis and Kassidy synchronize their “Stompa-Flair” strut and tell me that is not one of the best things in wrestling right now.

The song just oozes the slimey nature of Plexis, and it fits him perfectly.

6. Tony Baroni – Modern Men of Renaissance (created by Live Ayce)

The song will be uploaded later this week (I just wanted to get the article up), but you might be wondering why I don’t have a YouTube link available to it right away. The answer? Baroni commissioned Live Ayce to make his Wise Men entrance song. It’s an original piece.

That’s a pretty baller move.

The song itself, it reminded me of something you might hear in Lethal Weapon 2. A song without lyrics and heavy on the instrumentals. And at first, I wasn’t sure what to think of the song. The longer I listened to it, though, the more I started to dig it. It kind of annoys you to hear it, which works well since you are usually inclined to hate the Wise Men themselves.

And, as stated earlier, it’s also about what the wrestlers themselves have done that powers the Music Rankings, which is why Baroni’s theme has entered the list. Not only has he started the Wise Men crew with the Brilliant/Beautiful/Bodacious Billy Suede and the Goddess “Shoe Killer” Mandy, but he has staked his claim for the ECCW tag team titles, by demanding a shot at whomever wins between the Good Brothers and the West Coast Express.

Coming out in suits, celebrating New Years Eve for weeks, paying someone to make an original song, and kicking ass in the ring? That’s gonna get your song up the charts on the rankings.

5. Bollywood Boyz/Cunninghams – Beware the Boys Tubthumping

https://youtu.be/QJJspktSq4s

https://youtu.be/2H5uWRjFsGc

I am a fan of both teams. I love talking hockey with the Bollywood Boyz (GO CANUCKS!) and I love talking wrestling and learning all I can from the CHams. You couldn’t meet a nicer group of people.

So it was with a heavy heart when I found out these two teams were feuding. It’s so hard to choose between the two teams, so it’s no surprise I couldn’t choose between their entrance songs.

Don’t get me wrong, the CHams entrance song is hot garbage, BUT, it works because it’s super iconic for them now. Plus fans love hearing one hit wonders. Seriously, even if you’ve never seen the CHams, if you hear that stupid song kick in, odds are most people will get a smile on their face. It’s a smart move, even if the end game is them eventually using Smash Mouth for their next entrance theme.

And iconic is just what the Boyz song is as well. When that song hits, you know the Boyz are coming out to kick some ass, and possibly, cook some butter chicken. Some of the loudest pops I’ve ever heard in ECCW is when their song kicks in.

On top of that, these two are currently in a feud that has escalated as of late. What started off as a “Ah shucks, we’re just two baby face teams who love the challenge of a good fight” has turned into what some might call a bitter rivalry. It all started when sneaky Carl, master of the Leap Dog, pulled out a Hot Carl Special, and rolled up a Bollywood Boy from behind to take a win at the RCC a couple months back. Sure, they shook hands after the match, but the mood in the room had shifted. You could tell the Boyz were pissed.

Fast forward to Portland last week at Wrestle Sport, and there were the Bollywood Boyz on enemy turf. Perhaps thinking Canada wasn’t watching, they resorted to trying to use the belts as weapons to win the match. In fact, the CHams at one point PINNED the GFW tag team champions and thought they had won the titles, but due to a two ref situation (first ref got knocked out, reversed call of second ref when he woke up), the call was reversed. A Naan to the Face later, and the CHams were done, and the Boyz had retained their titles.

Will this feud keep escalating? Will it end in blood and violence at Ballroom Brawl 6? It god damn better. Two of the top tag teams in the Pacific Northwest deserve no less.

4. Pete Powers – Short Change Hero

https://youtu.be/d7LHA751p4w

Now, normally a slow paced song wouldn’t really work for a wrestler. If this wasn’t a song for the current monster Powers we all know and love (and fear, always fear), I would probably hate it as a wrestling song.

But sometimes songs just click with a character for you, you know?

And that’s what this song does for me. Amidst all of the chaos and destruction Pete Powers always brings with him, there is something beautiful about the tranquility his song brings. It’s almost a lie you want to believe in, this soulful song kicking in and making you feel like the worst is over. But it’s not. The worst is yet to come. The song is a sad warning about what will happen to those who go against their new God in Pete Powers.

The song almost gives you a chance to reflect about what you’ve seen and what you’re going to see. To give you a few moments to do the right thing, fall in line, and bow down to your new God, lest he turn his wrathful eye upon you.

 

3. El Phantasmo – Head Banger

https://www.facebook.com/elpwrestling/videos/10154124096979561/

Because El P is too cool for YouTube (his dedication to the lonely misunderstood drifter lifestyle is commendable), check out his newest entrance on his Facebook page. Toss a like his way, he won’t mind.

The song itself is a “love it or hate it” type thing. People either start screaming and bleeding from their ears when they listen to it, or they bang their head along to it (and start bleeding from the ears).

I will always maintain that El P’s entrance song HAS to be experienced in person, preferably at the Commodore. It’s an entrance you feel as it hits you in the chest to signal the arrival of the most electrifying neon man in sports entertainment.

El P is the current champ, and his entrance song is pretty iconic now, so that settles him in nicely in the top 3 on the list. But even if he wasn’t the champ, go watch that video. Watch the editing in it. Watch how effing great it looks. It weaves in his colors, it weaves in sound waves that rock along to the beat, and it weaves in his logos. It essentially shows you exactly what the head banging El P is in under 3 minutes. And it’s a remix of his song he’s been using for a while now, which I appreciate. Sometimes it’s nice to have some traditions, like when you hear a guitar riff go off and you know Bret Hart is just around the corner.

It’s the type of entrance video you could see in WWE. It’s just produced at such a great level and quality that it shames you into ever thinking you could make one that good yourself. It’s worthy of a champion.

2. Bishop – Who Gon Stop Me

https://vimeo.com/142631264

If there was a Dean Malenko of entrance songs, it would Bishop, the man of a thousand songs. And it’s not just garbage songs he’s choosing for the sake of variety. I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard a song come on the radio or my playlist and I look up the sky and mutter “Bishop…” to myself because it’s one of the great songs he’s chosen over the years.

The man just knows how to choose kick ass songs.

If this was JUST a list of songs I thought were awesome, Bishop would have taken number one. I fought it, oh how I fought it. Club Bish you see is going up against my boy El P, so it hurts my soul to admit that Bishop is good at anything.

But this song is amazing. The catchy god damn song, with the lyrics that are simple and to the point. Who is going to stop Bishop? Nobody. That’s who.

The song sounds bigger than life, and its over the top nature is perfect for Bishop, who is one of the top guys in the company. When you see Bishop, you know either someone is going to get very hurt (most likely Carl), or something big is going to happen.

So while it pains me to admit it, Bishop comes in at the number two spot on the rankings. You have to respect a guy who takes chances on his songs, and someone who pays attention to the details of presentation like that.

I just don’t have to like him. EL P 4 LIFE, BRO.

1. Artemis Spencer – The End

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USr6PyBkQjc

This is more a case of the wrestler’s performance making their song get on the list, then of the song itself being awesome.

Again, music is subjective, and I admittedly probably have pretty terrible taste in music, but this entrance song has never done it for me. The timid intro, leads to what feels like generic rock, something you’d pick for your created wrestler in a wrestling game. It sounds like it originated in 2008 WWE, when everyone had a generic rock song with lyrics for an entrance theme. A song that maybe Randy Orton rejected as his theme at one point.

I have also been pretty hard on Arty as of late. He did after all fail Canada by not only losing the PAC Cup to Ethan HD, an American, but he then later lost the Canadian Championship to Ethan HD as well. Artemis Spencer was our Canadian hero, so it was just very hard to watch him fail before our very eyes. He has gone from owning both the top titles in ECCW, to holding nothing but our broken hearts.

I also once stated his song would never make this list, so this is probably a very shocking number one selection.

But here’s the thing; Artemis Spencer has been the ECCW MVP for the last few months. He consistently brings the goods. It doesn’t matter what show it is, New West, RCC, my basement after 6pm for my “Wyatt’s Wrestling Rodeo” I’ve started up, Arty is out there wrestling like he’s in the Commodore. When’s the last time you left a show and thought to yourself “Arty didn’t do too great tonight.” Answer? Never.

There is no taking it easy with Spencer. You want to see someone almost kill themselves on some chairs to entertain 50 people? Arty is crazy enough to do it. He has been bringing top notch matches every show he’s on, and his match with Bishop in New West still remains my favorite post-BB5 match of the year so far.

So yes, even though I don’t dig his song, when that music hits, you know what I think? “Time to get my moneys worth.” You hear his song, you know you’re going to see some kick ass wrestling.  Despite the failures, despite losing the titles, you know you’re going to see local Canadian hero Artemis Spencer get you out of your seat, giving you what will most likely be the match of the night.

And that deserves the number one spot.

 

Should you want to see ECCW in action, I cannot recommend enough the upcoming Ballroom Brawl 6 show at the Commodore. You do NOT want to miss this show, the action is intense, the atmosphere is amazing, and who doesn’t like drinking a beer or two while people battle for their lives?

Can’t wait till then? Watch El Phantasmo, the number 3 ranked song in ECCW, take on Bishop, the number 2 guy, at ECCW: Redemption at the RCC May 14th.

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Wyatt Arndt Wyatt Arndt is a freelance writer who currently writes for The Province, Canucks Army, Canucks.com and Vancity Buzz. He's probably written in bathroom stalls near you as well. You can find him on Twitter where he is most likely making fun of Eddie Lack's goalie mask.
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