2013 predictions for Metro Vancouver

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Predictions for 2013

With 2012 behind us and 2013 starting with a clean slate, we asked our resident psychic for some Vancouver 2013 predictions. Here is what she came up with.

1. People in Vancouver will still not know how to drive, use an escalator, walk on sidewalks, use an umbrella and smile.

2. It will rain, a lot, but we’ll all forget about it during the summer as Vancouverites come out of hibernation and take to the streets serving as a reminder that this actually is a bustling pacific metropolis.

3. Driving in Richmond is still not safe. If you really have to go to an all night “massage” parlour on the cheap just flip open the back pages of The Georgia Straight.

4. There will be hockey, the Canucks will make the playoffs and…well I’m not making anymore predictions beyond that as the crystal ball gets a little hazy.

5. Hipsters will continue their migration eastward and further solidify their territorial stronghold in Gastown, Mount Pleasant, Railtown and Chinatown.

6. Vancouver will still not have a real New Year’s Eve celebration. People will blame the riots, which doesn’t make sense since we hold the annual Celebration of Light with little incident. They’ll than talk about it being a waste of taxpayer dollars as if they actually know a thing or two about politics and how it works.

7. More bike lanes will be built and many cyclists will still not use them. But you can always rest assured that some dude on scooter will take full advantage of it and then park his/her scooter on the sidewalk.

8. The viaducts will not be torn down as city council will realize how important of an east-west connection they really are.

9. Vancouverites will continue to complain whenever densification approaches their part of the city. Because 7,500 new people that move into the city a year can surely find affordable accommodation.

10. Roberto Luongo will no longer be a Canuck. He will play for the Leafs and all of sports media will herald him as the greatest goalie in the world, perhaps ever to lace up the skates.

11. Vancouver’s bike share program will see moderate success as the mandatory bike helmet law will severely limit the use. Mayor Gregor Robertson will continue to ignore this and make up statistics to show that the bike share program is a huge success.

12. More green/blue condo towers will be built.

13. Surrey Mayor will continue to campaign for more rapid transit in Surrey. Vancouver Mayor will do the same. Meanwhile, Translink representatives will laugh at both of them because they’re broke!

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