Entertainment

Vancity Buzz Bike Etiquette

By Vancity Buzz Staff | 2 years ago | Speak Up

(please note following these tips will not guarantee hoards of half naked girls following you, but it can’t hurt)

Over the course of the summer I’ve been doing what many Vancouver residents do, ride my bike and feel sorry for anyone else who doesn’t get to ride their bike in this beautiful scenic city. That all comes crumbling down how ever when I start riding beside, behind or in front of someone who has no idea how to ride a bike. This left me feeling compelled to write a piece on Vancouver bike etiquette to possibly safe the lives of thousands if not millions.

If you hear a bell ringing, it’s not the ice cream truck:

Believe it or not, you’re not the only person riding your bike and some of us probably have somewhere to be that’s much more important than your seventh trip to 7-11 to buy another Slurpee with a KISS scatch & win. When we ring our bell we’re kindly asking you to step aside or move your own bike over so we may pass you. I would think this to be a fairly universally known concept but the several hundred heels I feel like running over on a daily basis made me think otherwise.

*please note this rule may not apply to a hot chick as it’s very likely we might just want you to flash us as we ride.

Cars Vs Bikes…the ultimate showdown

I have been on both sides of this battle, while driving in a car wanting to run down any and all cyclists who make it difficult and longer to get where I’m going. Yet have also have been the rider wondering why that raging lunatic in the smart car was trying to swipe me off the road. Mind you I don’t think this VancityBuzz article is going to solve any problems but maybe if you’re reading this the next time you’re on the road on either side of the coin you’ll think to yourself “Do I really want to kill someone/be killed today?” and respect others on the road regardless of what kind of transportation they are choosing to use. However since the car drivers have the obvious advantage on the road, I’d ask you to watch this video and the next time you even think about hitting a cyclist & just imagine that this could be you…

A moped is not a bike

Keep them off the sidewalks, bike lanes and bike paths. It’s like someone without a disability competing in the special Olympic and while we’re on the topic of cheating, if you ride a bike that has a motor which resembles the sound of a cat in a bath tub, you’re an ass.

Stealing bikes, the ultimate sin

Never mind sex before marriage, murder or even drinking in public during the fireworks. Stealing bikes is the one thing that will truly get you sent straight to hell without passing go or collecting $200. As if Vancouver isn’t expensive enough do we really need people’s bikes to be stolen every other day? I’m sure 99% of the people reading this aren’t the ones cutting bike locks or removing street signs to steal from innocent people. However maybe you know someone that has done it or does it…I think if in Vancouver we collectively looked out for each other we could lower the amount bicycle thefts in the city. On the flip side, bike owners should always make sure they are doing their best to lock up their bikes securely and in places that wouldn’t be easy to steal from .That or you can just take the law in to your own hands like this dude from Portland did when he tracked down the guy who stole his bike all the way to Seattle and got him arrested.

The Seawall
I could probably spend a couple hours writing about how annoying the seawall can be sometimes but to make it very simple for everyone, here is a quick list:

  • counter clockwise (starting from coal harbor) is the correct direction to travel while on the seawall, any other way and you look like an ass.
  •  if you’re going to stop to take a picture, please move yourself and your bike off the road or prepare for some nasty things to be said about you & that dog in your basket.
  • above rule can be ignored if you you see someone rollerblading about to bail, then please stop at nothing to take a picture/video.
  • slow down and enjoy it cause it’s the seawall and it’s freaking beautiful.

Unicyclists

It’s alright, you’re cool.

Do you look stupid?

If you ride a recumbent bike then the answer is yes, you look very stupid.

Last but not least…

If you’re going to participate in the naked bike ride in Vancouver, it might be wise to hit the gym a couple times prior. Though I do fully support and love the naked bike ride, there are some sites I’d rather not have seen that are now permanently burned in to my brain, ugh.

That’s all I have for now, feel free to leave any suggestions in the comments below.

Time to go ride my bike on a bike path while wearing a bike helmet and shirt with a picture of a bike on it all while listening to the song “Bike” by Pink Floyd.

Written by @Mpah
If you like this check out our other etiquette guides:

Sidewalk etiquette

Umbrella Etiquette 101: A must for any Vancouverite

Transit Etiquette 101

 

Speak Up

  • Greg

    LOL every cyclist douchetard should read this! Well done vancitybuzz

  • Mainlander

    And stay off the goddamn sidewalks:

    Rights and duties of operator of cycleProvince of British Columbia Motor Vehicle Act – Section 183 In addition to the duties imposed by this section, a person operating a cycle on a highway has the same rights and duties as a driver of a vehicle.A person operating a cyclemust not ride on a sidewalk unless authorized by a by-law made under section 124 or unless otherwise directed by a sign

  • Cam

    As per Mainlander’s comment, rule “If you hear a bell ringing, it’s not the ice cream truck” does not apply on sidewalks.  If I’m WALKING on a sideWALK and a bell rings behind me – that’s not my problem.

  • http://twitter.com/EffEcks EffEcks

    Really starting to hate these tongue and cheek “this is how you have to act” articles. They are terrible. Since when did you become the authority on what yo can and can not do in Vancouver. Did you really equate drinking in public during the fireworks with murder? Seems a bit brash especially after saying you’ve been driving a car and wanting to run over cyclist. 

  • Greg

    you must be a cyclist 

  • http://twitter.com/KyleBryan Kyle Bryan

    Unicyclists – It’s alright, you’re cool.

    You mean thanks for being a try hard who needs attention, right?

  • Snowy-one

    where’s more pictures of bikini chicks?

  • http://twitter.com/mpah M. Pah
  • Jomama

    How about “if you are going to fly by other cyclists at full speed, use that little bell to give them a heads up.”  

  • Horn Dong Pipeclog

    In Ireland. All of them. They’re Miss Irelands contestants I’d guess, judging by the banner things they’re wearing.

  • http://twitter.com/wmfeng wmf

    Why is murder comparable to drinking during fireworks and sex before marriage…?

  • Stupid bike bells

    Bike bells should be banned. When I hear I bike bell, I freeze as I have not a clue what the cyclist behind wants. If I can hear your bloody bike bell I can hear you saying ” Passing on left or right or what ever”

  • Aiden

    One thing you forgot to mention is that it seems cyclists are too stupid to know what a red light means. Well, I’ll educate you it means STOP you morons! Just because you’re on a bike doesn’t give you any right to blatantly ignore the rules of the road. You’re a bike on the road = a vehicle of the road. It’s just that simple.

  • ugh

    thanks for the misogynist, insulting article that makes cyclists look like assholes, Vancitybuzz. good job.

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