If the “C” word isn’t being actualized in a relationship, it has been thought about, or hypothetically discussed. It is an irritating thought that most people in relationships think about, yet don’t want to think about, but do. There is always that small “what if?” even if you can say that you have the most honest, trusting, and openly communicated relationship. One of the worst things to think about is wanting what you can’t have, and when it comes to your significant other,
the thought can easily create unnecessary (or necessary) drama or questioning. It is human nature to think of the worst, especially with the person you love the most.
The “C” word. Cheating, is a very interesting concept.
Cheating can be accurately and impressively performed in many different ways, with very little rehearsal and plenty of standing “o’s”.
Emotionally cheating on someone could be a random bond that is created through shifty eyes, side smiles, juicy nicknames, brushing of bodies, constant text messaging, emails, phone calls, or late night Facebook chats, where the level of appropriateness is slightly crossed with very little guilt. Physical cheating is pretty self explanatory and doesn’t need to go into further detail.
Side note: If physical cheating is fuzzy and unclear, ask Mommy and Daddy where babies come from.
For someone who chooses to participate in closing the deal with an individual who they aren’t committed to, the biggest question is, what is going on for the person that makes that choice? Why are they out seeking love, affection, and release from another person?
For some people, it could be the feeling of serious badassness, or they may have no regard for other people in the world except for themselves. They are trying to fill that giant black hole of confusion that has been hanging over their head for years. They only have the thing, known as the significant other at home to be used for decoration, white noise, and a quickie on the kitchen table after the maid has finished a good clean with the all natural cleaner. For others, it may simply be an attractiveness that can’t be ignored. There is an unexplainable sexual connection that is so amped up that legs, arms, and faces are vibrating with anticipation and once they are in it, nothing can stop the windows from steaming up and clothes flying off. Some may just want to experience another person to increase their attractiveness or love for the person they have been with for years. For the rest, it could be that the individual is extremely unhappy in their relationship. The thought of leaving the relationship is completely out of the question because they could lose their amazing family deal on tv channels, wide selection of Egyptian cotton bedding, pre made coffee in the morning, quickies on the kitchen table, double ply toilet paper, their dog, cat, and two goldfish.
With all of these reasons, the reality is for those who are filling holes and digging graves, their significant other is sitting at home on a Friday night watching informercials on repeat.
But here is a pending question. Is cheating really a bad thing?
Selfishness may not be the ideal value to uphold in the world, but it is exciting to know that we live in a Canadian society where we can chose who we want to be with. If someone chooses to be with another person, emotionally or physically, then the only issue that is missing is the open communication around it. Not being James Bondish about the situation or ignoring the choice to be with that other person, may take away from all the drama, violence, hostility, and anger that is created after someone finds out their significant other has been cheating. What if sex is just sex, and it’s something humans need to do with more than one person even if they are in a committed relationship? It is interesting to look at how two people are so unexplainably sexually connected to eachother and try to figure out how that actually happens physiologically. If someone is unhappy in a relationship, it’s also interesting to look at how and why they aren’t meant for that person. It may not be a bad thing, it just may not be right. Growing a pair and breaking it off, tying lose ends in the most loving way possible, may also not be as bad, destructive and cunning as it seems to be.
With those aspects in mind, is cheating still bad? If you’ve cheated, thought about cheating, considered cheating, know someone else who has cheated, why do you think you or that person has done it? What do you think was missing or what did they need in order to do that? Is that really a bad thing?
Bringing back fishbowl and swinger parties may also be the cure to cheating and cheaters.