Who Really Started The Vancouver Riot

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When the riots erupted in Vancouver on that warm Wednesday evening many thought it was started by drunks hooligans. Others thought of it as overly stimulated suburbanites running amok in the “big city”. They might have joined in, but we now have photographic evidence that Charzilla started the Vancouver riot in an effort to rid the city of an NHL franchise. 

His disdain for the twin avengers Hank and Dank and the dragon slayer Alex Burrows led him to unleash his rage with silver chalice in hand. His mission was simple, to destroy Vancouver’s spirits. For a moment there we almost let him win. However, the collective will of the Vancouver people came through and the evil Charzilla was sent back to the pit from which he came, Boston. There he returned to pour champagne all over his teammates and unsuspecting Boston women all the while running up a six figure bar tab.

The question remains did Count Bettman send Charzilla to tarnish Vancouver’s reputation? I’m afraid we’ll never know.

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